Who’s Pushing You To Be Better? Lessons in Leadership

Me & Carissa at the top

My friend Carissa invited me on a hike this week. I’m not much of a hiker, in fact I flat out told her I didn’t like hiking. But it was a chance to hang out with my friend and get in a little exercise, so we set out to hike Piestewa Peak. I didn’t realize I was also in for a lesson on leadership.

Part of the way into the hike, my non-hiker nose was running hard. I realized I had the wrong shoes. It was HOT out. I had plenty of excuses. But I guess I had something to prove. To whom I don’t know, I guess myself. I knew I could do it. I ended up walking at a faster pace than my friend, and being the great friend she is, she told me to ‘go ahead’. So I did. As I kept hiking, I wondered why… I could have stopped. It would have been easier.

As I continued on, I felt bad. I had let my friend down. When I hit the summit, I was proud of what I had done. I knew starting out that it would physically challenge me, but I never doubted that I could do it. What I didn’t like though was being up there alone. I texted Carissa to see where she was. She replied that she was waiting for me and asked if I was at the top. I told her I was and she gave me a virtual high five (what a great friend). Why I didn’t stop when she did and encourage her to advance up the mountain with me? I don’t know. I sure had thought about THAT a lot on my way up and down again to where I met her on the trail.

This really made me consider. Was this how I show up in life? I set goals, I set out to accomplish them and I do it no matter what the sacrifice. Yep, sums me up pretty good. When I look at my role as a coach and as a role model to others,  I know I am there for people. I provide encouragement, I lead by example and often times I hold people’s hands. This last one – holding someone’s hand is definitely where I can grow. I want to breed independence with the coaches on my team, but then I also want to do it with them – not just lead them.

There’s no time like the present, right? So here is what I did. When I made it back down the trail and met Carissa. I looked at her and said “alright let’s head back up.” She looked at me and said OK. I didn’t say much else on our way up. It was getting hotter and my legs were getting tired, but I kept going. I wanted to do this WITH her.

We made it to the top and it was a delightful accomplishment for both of us, to do this together. To PUSH past our limits. On the way down I asked Carissa why she had stopped earlier. She said she had some cramps and mentioned that she felt like she was holding me back because my pace was faster than hers. I had to stop to think about that, when Carissa told me to continue on – I didn’t pause to ask any questions. I learned after the fact that I could have slowed down and we could have done it together the first time.

I also asked Carissa why she had waited for me to come back down. Why didn’t she keep going? She replied that she thought that she couldn’t do it. But then I got to say, Well, that isn’t true, YOU JUST DID IT. We joked about that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of everything he would normally do and marveled at the success that brought him. Sometimes that silly voice inside our heads that tells us we aren’t good enough, or that we can’t do something, needs to be annihilated and we need to do the VERY OPPOSITE of everything it has us thinking we should do.

It would have been great to have climbed up together the entire way. But the lessons we both learned on the trail are priceless. I learned that communication is KEY and encouragement and support are gifts I have to give. I do lead by example, but often times I don’t do enough to ensure that the others think they can do it. I didn’t set out that morning to learn or teach anything. BUT both Carissa and I walked away with so much.

Being at the top is great, but it is even better with friends.

So here is my lesson from atop the mountain… Everyone needs a someone to push them to be better, to help them reach for their true potential and purpose in life. I am truly grateful that my “someone” continues to stand by me and push me to be better.