Do You Have a Curious Mind?

I’m astounded by the relationships that my son Charlie creates because he connects so well with people. On a recent plane trip from Michigan, Charlie was sitting next to someone he didn’t know. When we gave him the opportunity to change seats, he didnt want to. He was having a great conversation with his 20-something neighbor about a video game. He doesn’t have the barrier of discomfort that many people have when talking to others and I think that is due to his innate curiosity.

I recently listened to a book in the car— A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer—about being curious about others. The author said that if your curiosity is genuine, it can be life-changing. We can be so focused on ourselves, it is when we stop and turn that focus outward that we really learn.

It was a great book that taught me a lot about myself and how I interact with others. And I learned a great deal about how curiosity is seen in society.

Curiosity = Negative?

If you look at university catalogs, you’ll see that there are classes about ingenuity and creativity, but none that specialize in curiosity. Curiosity is almost viewed negatively in our society. It’s looked down upon. “That kid sure is curious” means that he asks too many questions. But really, curiosity can help you build relationships and make connections to others, especially if it’s sincere and authentic.

Making Connections

So what am I doing differently after listening to this book? I’ve stopped trying to just see where the conversation goes. I’m more trusting in learning about people. It’s okay to JUST be curious and I’m content with this and asking more questions—without trying to do something with that information. The conversation doesn’t need to materialize into something significant right away. Knowing more about the people that you “know” allows you to better help and connect people in the future. Then you can add value in some way.

Sometimes you just need information that you can hold onto until later, then everything falls into place. You never know what conversations you can have until you try. Ask questions, find out more, connect. This book gave me permission to pursue conversations purely out of curiosity, without having to have a purpose.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to build relationships with others (you can find it on Amazon). And if you think you don’t have time for personal development, think again. I listened to this book in the carpool lane, while my kids were at practice and lessons and on the way to and from the grocery store. Audio books are a great way to grow, without feeling like you’re only reading one page at a time. What was the last book you read for personal growth?