Growing Grit in Girls & Boys: My Experience
When my boys were younger, I got the stereotypical, “Two boys! What a handful!” And as the girls get older, I get the sympathetic, knowing looks from people who see grey hair in my future from having two teen girls in my house at once.
It’s true that I have a bit of a crazy home life, but I don’t think you can ever predict what one child will be like as he or she grows up. They’re all so different that it does them a disservice to pigeonhole them because they’re a boy or a girl. And that’s why I’m really not worried. (Mostly.)
Of course, there are some things that I think are more girl-centric. Lucy recently went to her first dance and there was so much more talk about getting ready, what to wear, who was going to be there, etc. With the boys, there wasn’t nearly as much chatter about all of that.
But in general, every child is so different–it’s all based on their inner drive and their personalities. It’s not based on sex. I also feel like I’ve raised all four of my kids the same, but based on their own needs and interests.
Take Molly, for example. At 8, she’s super smart and motivated when it comes to school work. She wants to get it done exactly as the teacher said, always. But she’s not so motivated when it comes to getting out of bed every morning.
Jack prioritizes soccer over everything, even his social life and school work. Of course, he gets everything done, but soccer is his dream and his motivation for getting up in the morning.
All of my kids are so very different, and all have that grit and determination–just in a different way.
I recently listened to an interview on NPR about Angela Lee Duckworth, a former math teacher turned researcher, professor and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Duckworth talks about children’s grit and how it’s a predictor for success in the future.
Her TED Talk is worth a listen. And I hope it will help put your mind at ease if your children don’t have grit in school. Their grit may lie in another part of their lives.
